What I needed to hear
I have been a slow reader for a few years now. It's just life that gets in the way, isn't it. I would sit down with a book, and within 5 minutes I need to go to the bathroom, then notice I hadn't finished doing my dishes, the cat wants to crawl on my tummy. I'm lucky if I'm reading an e-book when the cat comes, there's at least some chance of multitasking. If it's a print edition - no way. And I was struggling, it felt like I was missing out on reading.
But then I thought, I'd give audiobooks a go. I had noticed it was mentioned more and more in the media and socials. And I really wanted to read Richard Osman's The Thursday Murder Club.
I had tried audiobooks a long time ago and had found that I drift off in my own thoughts and then I can't even remember where I left off. But this time, I guess for a good audiobook two factors have to be good - the story and the narrator. If one is missing, we're back to the drifting off.
The Thursday Murder Club is narrated by Lesley Manville. She is perfect for this book. She embodies the characters so well, giving them all the layers and tones. Instead of drifting off in my thoughts, I find myself listening to the book whilst doing my dishes, and in my head I'm walking with Joyce through a Kent village. Or sitting in a room with Elizabeth, eating cake and drinking tea. It does help, I think, that I also have been to Kent, and I have actually lived for a very short time, but still, in a small English village. I know the situation with the buses and I remember the high street shop settings.
I hadn't expected to giggle so much in a murder book, and feel so uplifted by the twists and turns wherever they took the characters. The realistic relationships and the tenderness that embodies the understanding of tragedies and the reactions to those. I didn't expect to have a little laugh or to get sympathetically sad whilst sitting on a tram with my headphones on whilst the characters are going through a new discovery of events.
And then came the biggest surprise of them all! The audiobook has a little interview with Richard Osman at the end of it. He talks about the inspirations for characters, admits to some form of his own life in them. He talks about himself as a reader and says things about not believing in good writing from people who don't read. The way he speaks about his characters, it's so endearing and so real. And somewhere in that interview it struck me.
I always have been a poet. Since I was a teenager. A poet who writes poems, some based on my life, some based on observations, some inspired by politics or current events.
But I have always carried a prose story inside me. For at least 10 years now, maybe more. Every time I had tried to write it, it had turned out just total shit, and I'd leave it be for another few years. But listening to the open and enthusiastic way that Osman talks about his characters, how they almost help him write his books, I realised that I had been going on about my story the wrong way around. I had been trying to write about the characters in my head, not writing the characters that live in my head on paper. Listening to what they say and how they feel. What would they do. How would they react. And I knew that is what I needed to do as well. If I get stuck, I'd just ask one of my characters to explain it. My first draft is slowly, but coming together. As Terry Pratchett had said: "The first draft is you telling the story to yourself", and I am finally ready to listen.
(Yes, I know, I know, this is not the Book3 Project that I've been hyping lately. But as the Book3 Project is mostly written already, it's going through the finding the design, the building of its own website, all the magical things that my designer does to make it real, I have some time on my hands to immerse in new writing.)
So, be brave and give Richard Osman's book a chance!
And keep an eye out for the new and amazingly different Book3 Project coming to all your screens soon enough.
Add a commentsocial or not but here I come
Whilst showering I realised that the only events I've been to in the last few years are either music gigs or events that I'm performing at.
The latter also includes house parties with more than 3 people attending.
(I really hope The Neighbour is not going to barge in the comments section to prove me wrong about some weird party thing I've been to yet have effectively forgotten about.)
All this brought to you by my recent talks with the drag show organiser on how to pick a date for the October's gig I'm reading poetry at again.
technology advances at speed
Sure, I love my new Iiyama monitor, and the air purifier is also amazing. But from all the pieces of tech I've bought recently, the toaster is the one that brings me the most joy.
feedback from the last show
A few days after the last show with the drags, my friend texted me this:
you kinda killed to be fair
killed it :D
not sure if you killed also, but seems kind of up your alley :D
I've been feeling proud of my performance ever since. And I responded with:
Well. The poem never really answers who killed whom :D But the implications are there.
through the allergies
My voice has been totally thrashed in the last couple of weeks due to allergies. Lacking tone, but mostly - depth and any capacity. It's been rather demoralising for me, I must admit.
Also, made me think our band might not be able to perform at any summer festivals, lol.
However, today I had to practice for the show next Sat. In hopes that it won't be too bad by then. It felt good. I didn't sound weak, nor I felt that weird inability to sustain breath support.
So, plug the mic in and let's practice some band stuff for a new song. After a few rounds, I decided to press the record button, and recorded 4 tries of the same poem.
When I listened to them, they sounded a bit, well, there's still some weirdness from the allergies in the tone, but at least I didn't sound weak and miserable. Not like last weekend or the one before.
Sent 2 of the recordings to Bandmate. He responded by saying that this is so cool and he put it in the track and "insta-coolness".
Thank fuck. I had really missed doing vocals for a result.
two ledes one post
The whirlwind story in my previous post has ended very abruptly. The monitor got delivered this morning. The Neighbour kindly helped me to get it to my flat. And now I see things differently, so to speak.
However, there was this saga about the old Cik Cak closing down. This one actually has an update that I also consider and explanation of why it happened.
A couple times per week I must frequent a different area in Prague. It's 12 mins drive and about 30 mins with public transport from here.
There I have seen the previous owner of CikCak with a woman and a small child. Twice now. The same woman, I can't speak about the child as I only saw arms and legs in a buggy the first time. The sightings happened around 9ish in the morning both times.
We can wrap that mystery up, I suppose.
how hard can it be to buy a monitor
Last month I poured a pint of water all over my desk. In the process of cleaning it all up I started wishing to make my desk more tidy.
For context - there are two monitors on my desk, one of them is standing on a pile of Spanish language books and a huge photo book I got at a posh gallery opening or some shit like that.
That book stand is v inefficient. As I was trying to mop up all the endless water which is a rather boring exercise, mind, I was thinking that maybe it is time to upgrade one of my monitors. Something nicer, and with a height adjustable stand.
After some research on 28th of July I placed an order for a new monitor. To be delivered by 9 am 30th of July to a self service locker pickup point. Just there, across the street for my convenience.
The morning of the 30th I got a text message stating that they apologise, but there will be a delay in the delivery. Now expected by 9 am the following day.
I got the same text on 31st of July. And on 1st of Aug.
On 1st of Aug I got a bit annoyed with this situation. Eventually I reached out to the support of the (re)seller and asked why the delay. The support staff told me that the pickup point doesn't have a locker big enough to fit my order in.
The question I had at this point was: so, each morning the delivery guy arrives and hopes that one of the lockers has expanded overnight?
But the question I ended up asking the person on the other end of the chat was: what can we do about this?
The answer ultimately ended up being: cancel this order, create a new one, choose a delivery method that can handle the size of the monitor.
OK. I know for a fact that they have a pickup point nearby with lockers big enough for 27" monitors. The Neighbour had his cool one delivered to there.
The order confirmation email said: to be delivered the following day, 2nd of Aug by 9 am.
2nd of Aug I was woken by a text message at 10 am that they apologise, but there is a delay in my order, current scheduled delivery to be before 9 am 3rd of Aug.
Guess what the text I received from them today said!
No, you are wrong, it said: we apologise, but the delivery is delayed and expected by 9 am on 4th of Aug.
But then! I received an email. The email states: we are sorry, but your order Iiyama monitor suchandsuch was damaged during the delivery and is no longer sellable. We have created a new order for you, and will be sending a not broken Iiyama monitor instead.
Expected delivery by 9 am 4th of Aug.
I, my friends, would be on the edge of my seat in suspense, if only the whole situation hadn't become so absurd and ridiculous.
I am also convinced that the monitor
1) does not exist in this universe,
2) is not deliverable by any human means.
Amongst the drags
2 weeks until my next appearance at the drag show. I've finally written the first draft of the show. In all fairness, both of the poems are already done.
I'm slowly starting to feel some sort of excitement about it.
If it wasn't for the allergies that have totally killed my voice. Even breath support exercises are not helping too much, it's still weak and somewhat croaky. I can only hope Mother Nature will ease up with the allergens by mid-Aug, and just keep practicing breathing.
summer update
Today I got the confirmation for the next date when I'm performing at the drag show. I'm rather pleased to be invited back.
Thank fuck this time it's not all love, lace and Prince, but everyone can pick their own theme for their act. So, I'm going all in and bringing my distaste for this capitalism malarkey and how religiously people take it.
But this weekend it's all murder mystery poetry recordings first, tho.
In other news - yes, I'm still alive, for better or worse.
2 sleeps to go
Me freaking out 2 nights before I have to do a (solo) performance: tell me again that I'm allowed to fuck up.
Bandmate: you are supposed to.
Me: huh? You want me to fuck up?
Bandmate: yeah, otherwise it's kind of boring - you'll come, you'll say your piece, who'd remember that!
Me: when you say it like that, you have a point.
Bandmate: you should work it in your show. towards the end. if you haven't naturally fucked up, do the scripted one.
Shoulder turn
I went to my dance class the other day, and we did a girl choreo this time. Which meant that I had to be flirty with certain moves.
All my friends know - I am notoriously bad at flirting. There's the years old story about me flirting with a woman by saying: "I'm miss grumpiness!" The jokes go around and everyone's having a great time at my expense.
But! You can make fun of me all you like, as clumsy and as weird my skills may be, they work. The woman in question did become my girlfriend not too long after.
Can't wait for the next class now.
memory lane
This morning I was thinking how I reconnected with an ex just before I was leaving for London. We had dated as teenagers, but I broke up with him because I thought he was cheating on me with his ex. And 4 years later we met up again, and he told me that my face was so much more mature. Yet I slept with him again anyway (more than once, if I remember correctly).
I was thinking that had I not bought that one way ticket to London, I probably would have gotten back together with him. He was very charming, I found it v hard to say no to him.
But then I remembered all the other affairs I had at the time. It was definitely for the best that I was leaving, my love and sex life had become v messy.
The stamina I used to have, bruh, tho. Up until the last month and a half, I also had a full time dayjob. I was also going to school, and learning to drive. For that last month an a half, I had quit my job, gave up on driving, there weren't many classes either I just had to take the exams.
But one thing though, one of those affairs I had at the time is now my bandmate. One never knows where these things lead, I suppose.
def a bug
I've discovered a serious flaw in the universe: no matter how many new summer clothes I buy, the weather doesn't seem to get better.
What do poets do on staycation
Forget going to Paris to write in café's with all sorts of traditional pastries (and I can't really drink a lot of coffee anyway). Especially when the poet in question also does spoken word, aiming for rap, playing the piano and the bass. The best place to be is where all the gear is, y'know.
I have spent the weekend mostly writing, some house work, some just doing nothing.
Today I finally felt like getting my yoga mat out to spend some time on it. That was after I did so much vocal practice that all words stopped making sense to me and became just an alphabet soup, but made of sounds.
It's raining outside.
Red dot by this date
I want to mark this date, err, I believe it is currently the 11th of March 2026, and I have been outside in sandals for the first time (this year).
Granted, it was only to take the bins out and to get the (fresh) cat litter from the pick up box point thing. But every little counts, especially after this brutal and extra long winter.
Important news
I got another tattoo!
And found out that it's been nearly 5 years since the last one. At least according to Hell cz records.
